Emotional regulation
Name what you feel with the emotion wheel, and learn to respond to it calmly.
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice, understand and respond to your feelings in healthy ways. It does not mean hiding feelings. Naming an emotion precisely, called "affect labelling", is itself calming, and the emotion wheel helps you find the right word.
Putting a feeling into words reduces activity in the brain's alarm system and gives the thinking brain room to choose a response. The more precisely you can name a feeling ("let down" rather than just "bad"), the easier it is to understand what it needs.
The emotion wheel
The skill, step by step
- Pause. Notice that something is happening inside you.
- Name it. Use the wheel to find the precise feeling.
- Notice the body. Where do you feel it? A tight chest, a hot face, a heavy stomach?
- Understand it. What triggered it, and what does it need?
- Choose a response. Breathe, ground yourself, talk to someone, take a break, or solve the problem.
- Reflect later. What helped? What would you try next time?
Ways to change how a feeling unfolds
Researchers describe several points at which we can shape an emotion:
- Change the situation. Step away, ask for help, or set a boundary.
- Shift your attention. Focus on something steadying, such as your breath or your surroundings.
- Rethink it. Ask whether there is another way to see what happened. This is called reappraisal.
- Respond gently. Once the feeling is there, calm the body with breathing or relaxation, rather than pushing the feeling away.
Two skills from dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) are especially useful:
- Check the facts. Ask: what actually happened, what am I assuming, and does the size of my feeling fit the facts?
- Opposite action. When a feeling pushes you towards something unhelpful, gently do the opposite. If fear says avoid, take one small step towards. If sadness says withdraw, reach out to one person.
When to use it
- When you feel “upset” but can’t say exactly how.
- Before responding in an argument.
- At the end of the day, to reflect on what you felt and why.
Safety notes
- If emotions feel unmanageable, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help immediately. Call Tele-MANAS on 14416 (free, 24×7), 112 for emergencies, or contact the clinic.
References
- Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271
- Plutchik, R. (2001). The nature of emotions. American Scientist, 89(4), 344–350. https://doi.org/10.1511/2001.4.344
- Willcox, G. (1982). The Feeling Wheel: A tool for expanding awareness of emotions and increasing spontaneity and intimacy. Transactional Analysis Journal, 12(4), 274–276. https://doi.org/10.1177/036215378201200411
- Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x
- Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
The wheel on this page is drawn for ARTH. Its words follow a widely used emotion wheel with seven core feelings (happy, sad, disgusted, angry, fearful, bad and surprised), a format that builds on Willcox’s Feeling Wheel.